Job Interview

Here's one website's take on what a job interview for being a father might look like.

As for what I imagine said interview might look like:

Jesus:  Do you believe that you are capable of loving another human being unconditionally, without giving consideration to the fact that said child is about to vomit all over your best dress shirt?

Me:  Capable?  Probably.  I'd say I'm capable.

Jesus:  Do you realize that babies poop in the bathtub?

Me:  They do what?  When?  Can't they hold it?

Jesus:  You don't understand this whole infant/toddler thing, do you?

Me:  I just don't understand why they can't wait.

Jesus:  They're not very big on bodily control.  That's the point of diapers.

Me:  Ok.  I can probably get past that.

Jesus:  Oh, and they won't say an intelligible word for years.  But they'll scream and cry a lot.

Me:  You're not big into sales, are you?

Jesus:  These are things you need to know.  It's the single most important thing you'll do in your life.

Me:  I just don't understand why you have to emphasize the negatives.  What about all the good stuff?

Jesus:  I know how excited you are.  I know how your heart has longed for this for years.  I know that you can hardly wait for this child to be born for the simply fact that you can begin to share your love with him.  I just don't want your already short patience to break when the kid poops all over the backseat of your new car.

Me:  I can't promise anything about that, but I can promise that every ounce of my soul will be poured into this child, that love I don't fully understand will be his simply because of who he is, because you have made him and set him within my care, that I might raise him to know and love you.  I can't promise that there won't be moments where I want to jump up and down and cry out to the heavens for divine inspiration for you to make this child stop crying, but I can pledge that I will do my best to live a Godly life, one that points to you in all things.

Jesus:  That's all I ask--everything.

Me:  I know.  I'm not good at giving you everything.  I hold things back for myself.  But I want to give this kid everything, that he knows that you are everything.  I want him to succeed where I have failed, for him to thrive where I have fallen short, for him to be faithful where I have faltered and sinned against you and against others.

Jesus:  This isn't about you.

Me:  I know.  It's about you and your kingdom.  Forgive me, Jesus, and make me a Father to my son like you are a Father to me, loving and kind, gentle and strong, certain and true.  Make me faithful, Lord, that my son may be faithful, too.