Memory

"We desperately ask to be remembered, fearing we are nothing." (Hauerwas, in The Cross-Shattered Christ)

  I will freely confess that one of the things my heart longs for is for my life to be remembered.  To be known.  I think this desire falls safely into the realm of idols, for I cannot say that I am always hoping to be known so that I can bear the light of Christ to others, but I often wish, to be truly honest, to be known simply to be remembered, to feel like I matter.

  I could probably go on for pages about this desire and modern society, how the number of twitter followers and facebook friends and pageviews are so easily calculated and compared in our often narcissistic society, but it really doesn't matter how I compare to the rest of the world and how it might be society's fault--what matters is that it's an idol that needs to be torn down and replaced with something of God.

  And God seems to be trying to do that, both in the message from Hauerwas I came across in some devotional reading, as well as in the beginning of Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy, which I have recently begun, with great anticipation.

  While being 'known' in the eyes of the world is, perhaps, pleasing for a while, God keeps reminding me that what truly  matters is that I am known, treasured and beloved, in the eyes of my Creator, who will remain forever, far beyond the length of time the kingdoms of this earth will reign.  My eternal God holds me in the palm of his hand, and I matter immensely to Him.  I will not be forgotten, even in my darkest hour.  Somehow, through the miracle of Christ, all of my sins are forgotten, but I never am, and for that reason alone, I  matter.

  So perhaps I can get off this treadmill of worry about being forgotten by the world after I am gone, and remind myself that in the eyes of my Lord and Savior, I shall never be forgotten, and that is all that matters.

  I imagine that Jesus would then suggest that I take all that energy I put into worrying about this and invest that in spreading the Good News of God's Kingdom.

"...we can live with the hope and confidence that the only remembering that matters is to be remembered by Jesus." (Hauerwas)