I
am sure you are wondering why I didn't choose to do the sermon on
being a parent today. Well, today's a special day for this married
man. It's our anniversary. Which means that around 6:00 I'll have
been married for six years, assuming that I don't tell too many
embarrassing stories over the rest of this sermon. That's 2,190
days. Over 52,000 hours. Over 3,000,000 minutes. But who's
counting?
In
thinking about what passage to begin with when we talk about what the
New Testament has to say about marriage, my thoughts immediately
turned to Revelation. See, there's this part about a dragon with
seven heads...
But
in all seriousness, Revelation is all about God's love—it's about
God emerging victorious over all the things in creation that oppose
him. It's about love conquering all. If we're going to love others,
we first need to love God and receive God's love, because our love
originates in God's love. Our love points to God's love. Every act
of love reflects, somewhat imperfectly, God's perfect love for us. 1
John talks about how God is love and that our love reveals God's love
to the world.
Revelation
concludes with an image that is very helpful for us as we think about
marriage. Here now the words of Revelation 21:1-6.
Then
I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the
first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw
the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God,
prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud
voice from the throne saying, ‘See, the home of God is
among mortals. He will dwell with them; they will be his
peoples, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe every
tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and
crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have
passed away.’
And
the one who was seated on the throne said, ‘See, I am making all
things new.’ Also he said, ‘Write this, for these words are
trustworthy and true.’ Then he said to me, ‘It is done! I am
the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I
will give water as a gift from the spring of the water of life.
It's
amazing to think of Christ as the bride of the church, but that's
exactly the way He is described here, and when we think about it,
it's an image laced throughout the Bible. God chooses to marry the
church—and from the moment he calls Abraham to leave behind his
family and everything he knows to live in an eternal relationship
with him alone, God has been nurturing this marriage, committed to us
for all of time. And the commitment isn't just a promise that can be
easily broken. It's something bigger than just a promise—it's a
covenant. The language of covenant streams throughout the Bible, and
Christ is described as the New Covenant, a renewal of vows of a sort.
God re-commits to the church, changing the way that life is supposed
to live out, but commiting all the same, regardless of whether or not
we are perfect.
Think
about this for a second—look back over the history of the church,
and even the disciples, and we wonder what God was thinking. These
are the people God has chosen to marry forever? We wonder why God
didn't choose an organization, a people, more qualified and up to the
task of being married to God. We wonder why God didn't hold out for
someone better. We look at the church, then at Jesus, and we wonder
why Jesus hasn't left us yet. We're not a very outstanding bunch.
But
God has made a covenant, and God is committed to this covenant,
regardless of our sin. In Matthew 26 Jesus is telling the disciples
that they will abandon him, and he's making plans to be with them
after his resurrection, even though they'll abandon him. He doesn't
give up on them.
In
the same way, we're called to make that kind of commitment to our
marriages. It's not always going to be easy. We make a promise to
love through better or worse, and we're called to live up to that
commitment. Sometimes we may not feel like being married. Some days
we may not like the person we're married to very much. But we don't
give up the first time our partner makes a mistake, do we? We've
made a big commitment, and we're called to live up to it.
Now,
this doesn't mean that every marriage always works out. Trust me, I
know. My parents divorced after over 30 years of marriage, and I was
right there as the pieces were falling apart. I know that every
marriage doesn't work out, and I know that this isn't the end of the
world. It's a painful, difficult process, as some of you know. Just
because a marriage doesn't work out doesn't mean that God gives up on
us. Sometimes, for various reasons, these things don't work out.
But in the midst of every trial and every difficulty that arises in
marriage, we're called to commit to it, to strive to overlook faults
and work for the marriage. We don't enter into the commitment with
the knowledge that if things don't work out, then there is a way out.
If God did that He would have abandoned the church a long time ago.
Divorce should always be a last resort. Marriage takes work—and we
have to be willing to overlook a lot of faults and recognize the huge
size of the commitment if we're going to have faithful marriages.
Another
thing Christ's commitment to the church reveals to us is the patience
we need to have for one another. Think about Christ with the
disciples—in Luke, during the Emmaus walk, Christ calls two of
these particular disciples 'slow of heart'. Time and time again he
grows frustrated with the disciples and their lack of understanding
about what it means to follow God. He calls Peter 'Satan'! But he
remains by their side, continuing to urge them to grow, even though
this may be far slower than he would like.
In
the same way, we need to remember to be patient with one another.
The married life isn't a race. No judge will decide whether Rachel
or I have won our marriage. We're committed to each other, in the
hopes that each of us will grow throughout the process. I once heard
of a person who was afraid to get married because they didn't want
the other person to change. I hope Rachel does change, and I want to
encourage her along the way as she grows. But this means that
everything is not going to be a smooth process. There may be some
rough patches—but if we're patient with one another, I think what
comes out in the end is a beautiful relationship that can stand many
challenges. But this takes a lot of patience.
Finally,
Christ shows us that marriage demands selflessness. It's not about
us. Think about Christ, emptying himself, taking on the form of a
servant. Paul does the same thing, describing himself as a servant
of the church. We, too, need to serve one another. For our love to
be a true reflection of Christ's love, it has to be selfless. Christ
didn't come to earth to enrich himself—he came to enrich his
beloved, his bride, the church. We, too, have to focus on our
spouses, on the other people in our relationships—and we need to
love them selflessly, sacrificially. It's not about us. It's not
about you. It's about the other, the marriage, and it's going to
cost you something. There are things that you are not able to do in
marriage out of consideration for your spouse. You'll have to give
some things up. Rather than complaining about this or looking for a
way out, remember that Christ gave his life for the sake of his
beloved, the church. May we have the strength to do the same.
In
all true acts of love, we are reflecting God's love for us. Our love
should be the type of love that makes other people thirsty for God's
love. Notice that the end of the reading from Revelation talks about
how God will give the thirsty something to drink from the spring of
the water of life. May our love be of the quality that directs
others to God's love, that people see us and hunger for the love of
God.
Let
us pray
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