CHAPTER XXIII To Whom Sacraments Appertain

CHAPTER XXIII

To Whom Sacraments Appertain

We hold that baptism applies as much to the children of the faithful as to those who are of age and discretion, and so we condemn the error of the Anabaptists, who deny that children should be baptized before they have faith and understanding. But we hold that the Supper of the Lord is only for those who are of the household of faith and can try and examine themselves both in their faith and their duty to their neighbors. Those who eat and drink at that holy table without faith, or without peace and goodwill to their brethren, eat unworthily. This is the reason why ministers in our Kirk make public and individual examination of those who are to be admitted to the table of the Lord Jesus.

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I've had the infant baptism discussion many a time, and I will freely confess that I still wrestle with it.  I love the idea of our identity in Christ being rooted from the time we are young.  I appreciate the theology that we recognize that God claims us long before we ever discover the wisdom to seek to live out our gratitude with every fiber of our being.  I love the depth of the acknowledgment that we are a part of a community, and in baptism the entire community of faith makes a promise to help raise the infant in the church, as a Christian.

I just want control.

I want to be able to say that it was my decision, that it was my wisdom that led me to my decision to be saved through my baptism.  I want the first word, cutting God off before God gets a word in edgewise.  It's hard to depend on someone else's wisdom, even when that someone is God.  I still want to live by my rules.

I think that's the heart of my opposition to infant baptism.  Others make well-reasoned cases that I respect and acknowledge.  They have great theology and simply do not believe that anyone should be baptized without their consent.  Often, I find myself swayed by their arguments.

But in my own case, I think it is a matter of control--I find it so hard to accept that God's love is unconditional, because I see the depth of my own sin.  I wonder how it is that God can freely choose to love me, even knowing all the sins I have committed and will continue to commit.  I am trying to dredge up all the sins that God has cast deep into the ocean, and I guess I want God to try and win God's love, even though I can't, even though God loves me more than I will ever understand.  For some reason, God's free gift of abundant grace just doesn't seem to make sense to me, so I wrestle with it.