Thursday, October 28, 2010

Psalm 13

Psalm 13

I wonder what my future holds. Does it promise prosperity and long summer mornings here in the garden of my delight? Does the beauty that blossoms within promise to shade me from the sun’s afternoon rays, keeping me cool and content as I lie in ease? Will the evening breeze tempt me to sleep as I relax under the beauty of the sunset?

Or will I spend my days on my hands and knees, steadfastly, faithfully pulling these eternal weeds from the fertile soil? Will my days and nights be consumed with these garden pests? Will I find rest from my labors, or shall my every ounce of being be consumed by unidentifiable blights upon the surface of the garden?
How long, O Lord, must I toil in this place? How long will you allow these weeds to barrel forward in their determined effort to destroy the beauty here? How long will my futile resistance hold in the face of such plants? Shall I throw my hands to the air as the weeds cackle with joy and overrun my very being, snaring me in their tendrils of wickedness?

I have trusted in you, O Lord, and I have wailed unto the skies for defense. I know that you are good, and that you will continue to tend to this beauty, but I will freely admit my frustrations with this situation. I have only just now returned to this garden, and already I feel the weight of the task before me weighing upon me. I know that I have a strong defender, but I often feel alone in this place. I have trusted in the Lord who sustained this place while I chased the folly of pleasure, and I shall continue to trust in him. Surely such a place of beauty and wonder could only exist because of his righteous hand, and even my cries in protest of my labors are an act of worship, because my very being is worship.

My every act, my thoughts and words, are lifted up before the almighty throne of God. The weeds I pull and the beauty I admire are milemarkers on the route to God; it is not a path I can walk on my own, but a destination I am striving for and a path that will be lit day by day, moment by moment, as I seek the guidance of the Almighty. I cannot weed this garden alone; I shall never defeat these pests. But I trust that beauty will reign and that my God will stand victorious in this place, for the Lord is good to me.

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