It interests me to read this passage and then think about Holy Week. During Holy Week, the apostles, who were essentially the hand-picked individuals intended to lead the church after Jesus ascends to heaven, flee when Jesus is arrested and then don't go visit the tomb on Easter morning -- despite Jesus' assurances that he would rise from the dead, they seem surprised (which is perfectly natural, given that people don't rise from the dead) when the women bring back the report that Jesus has done exactly what he said he was going to do! So they spent three years with the Son of God, walking and talking with him, and even then, Jesus was clearly still a mystery to them, despite his clear statements predicting exactly what would happen to him.
Faith is hard. It was hard for the disciples, and it is hard for us, too. It's hard to know exactly what we are called to do. It's often hard to clearly understand the next step in faith. Don't be too hard on yourself for not having perfect clarity as to your faith -- the disciples didn't have it either. What they had was certainty that Jesus was different, and they continued to show up, day after day, to hear what he had to say and to learn from him.
May we have the same curiosity, to continue to show up in our faith, to set time aside to listen for God's voice, and to trust that spending time with Jesus is worth sacrificing whatever else we might do with that time. Jesus is working, even when we don't perfectly understand it -- the wheels of salvation continue to turn, and God continues to build God's Kingdom, and we are invited, through Christ, to be a part of that. Thanks be to God!
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