Baby Showers and Tears

  Rachel made it home safely about 7:30 last night, and after trying her best to help out, she finally took the hint and went upstairs with the small packages and let me carry all the heavy things.  Nothing makes men feel helpful like carrying heavy things for other people.

  Anyway, she was showing me all the incredibly cute things from the baby shower (I used to have an aversion to the word 'cute'.  Something about it seemed so unmanly, so I didn't use it often.  Things just weren't cute.  Then we started looking at all sorts of baby things, like tiny socks and little hats, and, well, they're just cute.  There isn't any other word for it.  Some things I just have to get over.) and I just started to cry.

  Now, I never used to cry at things.  I went years without crying, and was rather proud of the fact.  Movies didn't make me cry, although I probably didn't spend a lot of time in my teenage years watching the types of movies that make people cry.  I was rarely in deeply emotional settings, and crying wasn't something that was a big part of my life.  As I've aged, I have started to cry more often.  I bawled at Toy Story 3.  (Who didn't?)  Perhaps I'm turning into a sap.  Perhaps that's ok.  (In a related note, I've officially been removed from the list of men to play the next James Bond.)

  Anyway, I was looking at this stuffed bear, and thinking about all the adventures my son will have with stuffed animals.  They're a big part of life to little kids--they drag them to the park, around the house, and sleep with them at night.  Something about that bear made the image of my child seem so real, so near, so present--it was as though watching our nursery be filled with things has suddenly made the entire reality of having a son become real.  I have this image of a little boy with a stuffed bear on his lap stuck in my mind, and it's more real than any other thought I've had about our little baby boy.  And I'm so excited about it all I can do is cry.

  Rachel's at 31 weeks today.  We're drawing so near, and we're both so excited we can hardly sit still.  In a few short months we will welcome a little boy into our lives, and our hearts will certainly be filled with more love than we ever thought they could hold.  What a blessing.