Standards

  So I realized something this evening... my standard has changed.

  When I was a kid, or otherwise academically engaged, my standard was my peers.  How am I doing in relation to my peers?  We had class rankings for that very purpose--they helped each student see where they were in relation to the whole.  As one of the kids who was academically gifted, I was usually doing pretty well according to my standard.  I didn't have to invest a lot of time or worry in whether I was living up to the standard or not.  In fact, I'd go so far as to say I didn't have to invest a lot of work in it, either.  It came naturally.

  Now, this became a problem when I arrived in college.  No longer was it easy to coast along above my peers academically.  It was a challenge, one that demanded hard work, and I will readily admit I failed in this task.  I didn't live up to the standard, and the fact that I graduated with a respectable GPA had as much to do with my switching majors as it did with my renewed focus on work.

  As long as my standard was academically relating to my peers, I did ok, with the exception of failing miserably in engineering.

  But, as my life became centered around the Gospel rather than the world of academics, my standard changed.  No longer was it enough to do better than my peers--now I was measuring up to the standard of Jesus Christ.  And, in case you haven't read the Gospels, that standard is as high as possible--Jesus Christ, though tempted just as we are, is perfect in every way, without sin or blemish.  Now that I'm seeking to live as a Christian, I'm trying to live up to his standard.

  And I'm failing.  Just like everyone else.

  The problem is, I don't hear the words of grace.  I'm so busy beating myself up for failing to live up to a standard that I will never achieve that I don't focus on the grace, forgiveness and love that Christ pours out into my life.  I'm too busy focusing on myself rather than Christ's gracious love.  I'm trying to make this life about myself, rather than letting it be about Christ.

  So it's okay that you don't live up to the standard that Christ sets.  You never will.  I never will.  Sin gets in the way.  It doesn't mean that it's ok to give up, what it means is that we need to accept Christ's forgiveness and live as a transformed, forgiven people, sharing that love with others, rather than investing energy into worrying about failure.